I have been dreading the moment you say these words. It just means things are beyond our control. Wishing you strength as you deal with all the emotions that will ensue. Life will definitely change but I hope you continue to take us along on your journey.
I'm so sorry, but certainly understand. It takes a village - one person simply can't provide 24/7 care for a person with dementia. With luck the transition will go smoothly for you both. Good luck, Georgina.
Apr 12, 2023·edited Apr 12, 2023Liked by Georgina Grant
You have been absolutely remarkable in love and caring and now you know that you need time to take care of yourself. Let others do the practical aspects so that you can cope with the emotional side. Thoughts with you on this unenviable journey. Your difficult decision is the very best for you and James.
This one has me crying. I feel for you. We aren’t near that point and I still wonder how long I can do it. My thoughts are with you and James. Hugs ...
There are times in our lives when circumstances appear to gang up against us and “the moment” may be the one we dread most. When close relatives choose to move - and we too have been there - it comes as a blow that seems insurmountable, but life goes on and we have to think out our plans again. Presently it will be James and his condition that will dominate the possibilities open to you and our thoughts are with you as you come to accept that change is inevitable.
I am so sorry you find yourself in this predicament. It is a difficult choice, but you must also think of your own health
& your family situation.
My brother & I were about to have to decide for our stepmom when she had a series of falls, was taken into hospital, discharged home, developed pneumonia was readmitted & passed on. She had been determined she wanted to stay in her own home supported by neighbours & my brother 15 mins away. We managed to see her.
Beautifully written as ever thank you. In my own experience of several griefs, most definitely including for my own soul rebirthing (griefs are different for each of us) I'm in awe of your lovely transcendent conveying of the letting go of the self, part of and yet infinitely different from the inevitable transition to 'actual dying', and our returning to whatever we were before we were conceived, imagined, as energy, plasma; whatever anything/everything might be :) Anyway, infinite love and energy to you and all. Alan x
I had to make this horrible decision when I realised that I couldn’t cope any more. I feel for you so much, it is heartbreaking. My dearest husband is now better looked after than I could manage and as far as I can tell is fairly happy. I’m left with the inevitable guilt and loneliness, though he wasn’t able to be much of a companion in the last few years.
Thank goodness for help from family and friends. I am beginning to have a life again and so I trust will you. Much love.
You are of course right Christine, and with the decision made there is no going back - but it still seems like a betrayal right now….even though I am sure we will both settle down to a new way of life eventually…
All I can say is that this made me cry 😢 Both my parents have Alzheimer’s and I know I will have to make this decision at some point. This really brought it home though. Thank you Georgina for your writing on this, it is so clear and true. Anyone going through this can fully comprehend how difficult each day gets and how tiring the caring is. Take care xxx
I can completely empathise with you. I went through the same process and once the hugely difficult decision was made, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. From there to actually getting my mum into a care home was another process, but decision made, I felt a renewed focus. Good luck!
I am sure this was a heartbreaking decision for you to make, but I’m equally sure it is the right one. Relieved of the responsibility of day to day care and secure in the knowledge that James is safe and well cared for, you will hopefully be able to enjoy the time you can spend together. Look after yourself x
Georgina, I feel your pain but the admiral nurse was spot on right. She also knew looking at your husband .. AND YOU.. that the time was definitely right. However, you have to see it for yourself but having that little nudge from someone else really helps. I had to place BOTH my parents into care on SAME day! Dad Parkinson's Dementia, mum Alzheimer's. Was like the blind leading the blind. Once they walked into the home.. Dad smiling at the residents saying hello. (he loved people) and mum started chatting away.. I knew I'd done the right thing 🙏 I knew they'd be safe. However, my duty as a daughter didn't end there.. I still had to visit frequently, get new clothes when needed or take them to medical appointments when needed. So please don't feel guilty. You're placing him into Care, because you love and care for him, not shoving him into a home and throwing away the key! There's the difference. Also if anything should happen to you, he'd have no choice but to go into care anyway. Both my parents have now passed away but the home was wonderful to the end for them both. Have no regrets. They become like your family. I've had to do same again! This time for my Aunty. The last elderly relative left. She's never married so always lived alone. She was always a difficult person. Talk down to people! Me and my siblings never warmed to her, although we do care what happens to her and feel sad seeing her vulnerable. She's been in hospital several times in last 8 months and with relief, hospital are arranging with Social Services for Aunty to go into a home. She's had several falls within a week and we couldn't get her up without help. So sadly the time is right.. Sending you the biggest hugs and love ❤️
I have been dreading the moment you say these words. It just means things are beyond our control. Wishing you strength as you deal with all the emotions that will ensue. Life will definitely change but I hope you continue to take us along on your journey.
I'm so sorry, but certainly understand. It takes a village - one person simply can't provide 24/7 care for a person with dementia. With luck the transition will go smoothly for you both. Good luck, Georgina.
You have been absolutely remarkable in love and caring and now you know that you need time to take care of yourself. Let others do the practical aspects so that you can cope with the emotional side. Thoughts with you on this unenviable journey. Your difficult decision is the very best for you and James.
My immediate reaction- thanks be to God.
🙏
Thank God for your husband’s care in professional hands.
Thank God for your increase in beloved SLEEP.
And thank God for this next step made, trusting in others for their expertise in these heartbreaking times.
Best wishes. 🙏
This one has me crying. I feel for you. We aren’t near that point and I still wonder how long I can do it. My thoughts are with you and James. Hugs ...
There are times in our lives when circumstances appear to gang up against us and “the moment” may be the one we dread most. When close relatives choose to move - and we too have been there - it comes as a blow that seems insurmountable, but life goes on and we have to think out our plans again. Presently it will be James and his condition that will dominate the possibilities open to you and our thoughts are with you as you come to accept that change is inevitable.
I am so sorry you find yourself in this predicament. It is a difficult choice, but you must also think of your own health
& your family situation.
My brother & I were about to have to decide for our stepmom when she had a series of falls, was taken into hospital, discharged home, developed pneumonia was readmitted & passed on. She had been determined she wanted to stay in her own home supported by neighbours & my brother 15 mins away. We managed to see her.
Beautifully written as ever thank you. In my own experience of several griefs, most definitely including for my own soul rebirthing (griefs are different for each of us) I'm in awe of your lovely transcendent conveying of the letting go of the self, part of and yet infinitely different from the inevitable transition to 'actual dying', and our returning to whatever we were before we were conceived, imagined, as energy, plasma; whatever anything/everything might be :) Anyway, infinite love and energy to you and all. Alan x
I had to make this horrible decision when I realised that I couldn’t cope any more. I feel for you so much, it is heartbreaking. My dearest husband is now better looked after than I could manage and as far as I can tell is fairly happy. I’m left with the inevitable guilt and loneliness, though he wasn’t able to be much of a companion in the last few years.
Thank goodness for help from family and friends. I am beginning to have a life again and so I trust will you. Much love.
You are of course right Christine, and with the decision made there is no going back - but it still seems like a betrayal right now….even though I am sure we will both settle down to a new way of life eventually…
All I can say is that this made me cry 😢 Both my parents have Alzheimer’s and I know I will have to make this decision at some point. This really brought it home though. Thank you Georgina for your writing on this, it is so clear and true. Anyone going through this can fully comprehend how difficult each day gets and how tiring the caring is. Take care xxx
I can completely empathise with you. I went through the same process and once the hugely difficult decision was made, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. From there to actually getting my mum into a care home was another process, but decision made, I felt a renewed focus. Good luck!
I am sure this was a heartbreaking decision for you to make, but I’m equally sure it is the right one. Relieved of the responsibility of day to day care and secure in the knowledge that James is safe and well cared for, you will hopefully be able to enjoy the time you can spend together. Look after yourself x
Georgina, I feel your pain but the admiral nurse was spot on right. She also knew looking at your husband .. AND YOU.. that the time was definitely right. However, you have to see it for yourself but having that little nudge from someone else really helps. I had to place BOTH my parents into care on SAME day! Dad Parkinson's Dementia, mum Alzheimer's. Was like the blind leading the blind. Once they walked into the home.. Dad smiling at the residents saying hello. (he loved people) and mum started chatting away.. I knew I'd done the right thing 🙏 I knew they'd be safe. However, my duty as a daughter didn't end there.. I still had to visit frequently, get new clothes when needed or take them to medical appointments when needed. So please don't feel guilty. You're placing him into Care, because you love and care for him, not shoving him into a home and throwing away the key! There's the difference. Also if anything should happen to you, he'd have no choice but to go into care anyway. Both my parents have now passed away but the home was wonderful to the end for them both. Have no regrets. They become like your family. I've had to do same again! This time for my Aunty. The last elderly relative left. She's never married so always lived alone. She was always a difficult person. Talk down to people! Me and my siblings never warmed to her, although we do care what happens to her and feel sad seeing her vulnerable. She's been in hospital several times in last 8 months and with relief, hospital are arranging with Social Services for Aunty to go into a home. She's had several falls within a week and we couldn't get her up without help. So sadly the time is right.. Sending you the biggest hugs and love ❤️