I FEEL duty bound in writing this blog post to ask anyone kind enough to read it, to bear one thing in mind: EVERYTHING TURNS OUT OKAY IN THE END...
You won’t believe me, but trust me, I’m a journalist – despite every appearance to the contrary we’ll all come out of this one humming the tunes.
So to begin:
IT is just before six in the morning and as I wonder whether to have a lie-in or get up and make some tea, the clock hits the hour and the phone rings immediately.
The screen flashes up Caller ID Unknown and I know instantly it is the hospital - and at this early hour it can only be bad news.
Either James is dying and they want me to come at once – or he is dead.
“Is that Georgina?” a sombre voice asks, and my heart sinks as I reluctantly agree it is.
“I’m so very sorry to tell you that James died during the night...”
I am too shocked to do more than ask if I can come to the hospital straight away...
“Yes,” says the kind stranger, “come whenever you are ready...”
It is odd the things that come into your mind at times of crisis, but I find myself checking my ipad for the date – a date which will forever be remembered within the family as the anniversary of James’ death.
I recall that only yesterday I had three months’ worth of nappies and catheter supplies delivered: and then I say to myself the saddest words in the world: “I am a widow...”
By now tears are pouring down my cheeks and I have to take a deep breath as I ring our eldest son to share the news.
“Darling, it’s Dad...” is all I manage, before I start crying down the phone, but it is all I need to say.
I hear him choke up as he says he will be with me in a few minutes.
Number 3 son is out walking his dog when I ring him with the bad news, and number 2 son is already at work in Dubai where I catch him at his desk. He leaves the office in tears to go home and tell his wife.
Moments later there is a knock at the door and Number 1 son, his wife and daughter arrive, and we all sit sobbing together over tea, already putting together a list of who must be told and who will tell them.
It is still far too early, we decide, to contact anyone outside the immediate family so all calls are put on hold until 9am while we try to comprehend that James – who has been the kindest of husbands and fathers – is dead.
At 6.42am the phone rings again.
I see that lack of ID a second time, and put it on speakerphone, assuming that we will be redirected from the ward to the morgue perhaps.
“Georgina?” asks the familiar voice from earlier.
“I rang you earlier to tell you that your husband had died,” it reminded me, as though I might have forgotten already.
“Well it seems I have made a mistake...”
I am 42 minutes into widowhood and somehow ”it seems I have made a mistake...” doesn’t quite cut it.
Wrong old man...not James after all...the world has gone mad.
We sit stunned.
We stop crying.
We are all appalled at such unforgiveable carelessness but then we start laughing...and soon we are all crying again, but this time with uncontrollable mirth...
But nothing less than “eyes on the prize” will cut it at this point and until we have seen James for ourselves, I am not sure what to believe.
The handsome, kind Indian doctor who has been treating James, smiles when we arrive, and says cheerily “You two are in early today...”
I don’t want James – or Lazarus as I now think of him – to hear, so I put my hand to my mouth and whisper “that’s because they told us James was dead...”
The doctor looks at me for a long puzzled moment, and then, when he realises I am not in fact making a joke in very poor taste, makes a long howl of appalled disbelief.
“Noooooooooooooooo – that’s Bed Three...What on earth are they doing....?”
I’m not sure we will ever really find out, but I am so relieved I am not even angry – imagining the heart-stoppingly awful moment when the mistake was discovered and the nurse realised we were going to have to be told.
But the great thing about the English middle classes is our lovely manners.
Number 1 son and I are graciousness personified acknowledging kindly that mistakes do indeed happen...although that of course could just be because the shock has not worn off
“Talk about taking it on the chin - they must think we are utter bricks...” says Number 1 son as we leave.
Well never let it be said that we Grants can’t take a joke...
But if I have to announce my widowhood again any time soon, will anyone believe me? #widowwhocriedwolf
Still at least James, if we ever decide to tell him, can declare like Mark Twain, that rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated...
That is unbelievably awful. I hope somebody is feeling terribly guilty for putting you and your family through that and terribly relieved it was with such an understanding family.
Oh my my what a shock. When I started reading I really thought you had been dreaming. How on earth could this happen. Being a nurse of many years standing, I should know.
I’ve made a few mistakes over the 50+years but never one of this magnitude. That poor nurse has all my sympathies having to admit such a terrible mistake, but you and your family have an extra two million. Did she manage to keep her job?
Being a widow for such an earth shattering short time must leave its mark and make you a mite suspicious. I could say when and if it happens (I hope for not a very long time ) for real, you will be prepared. However I don’t believe you will, you may think it’s a another mistake and won’t believe it until you see with your very own eyes.
I love your strength, your humor and your humanity in “forgiving “ this horror stricken poor nurse. I am sure, if she still has her job ( and I do hope she has) she will not make the same mistake again , hopefully!!!
I love our British stiff upper “lip fullness” ( is there such a word?) if you hadn’t had it by the bucket load, they may have had another phone call to make to the poor nurse’s husband with the same message you received. 😱
I do hope James continues to improve. Sending my love and best wishes from the bedside of my poorly husband in A&E. At least they won’t need to make a phone call if the worst happens, I am right here 🤞And he keeps shouting my name and telling everyone he has to get to work !! Bless him, and I frequently do !!